2018、2019 年工作回顧: 「一嚿屎」 · 「一坨屎」 (有味, 慎入! ) A look back on 2018 & 2019: ‘A Piece of Shit’
Scroll down for English
💩這個形象, 經常在治療中出現, 尤其是使用陶泥的時候。 你可以想像濕潤的陶泥, 在手中的感覺! 在廣府話中, 我們會稱💩為「一嚿屎」。 最近我多了在內地工作, 聽到的是「一坨屎」。 聽着、聽着, 我的普通話也慢慢進步!
曾有一位年青人, 以一群蒼蠅圍繞住的💩代表自己。在往後的治療中,💩開始人像化, 例如有手有腳、用耳筒聽歌、感到寂寞、開心。 然後, 他畫了一個人代表自己, 在最後一節中, 更將自己畫成一個超人!
有些參與者, 知道可以創做💩, 又看不到我有特別反應, 變得好雀躍! 另一個參與者,說自己是一位來自宇宙的「屎尿公主」...
此等情境, 創作者及其他組員通常會哈哈大笑, 但當情緒沉澱下來, 大家都可以分享到某些沉重的感覺, 彷彿大家都能對創作者的情緒作出支持。
💩彷彿代表了一些不安、不被接納的感覺, 和一些不應說的話。這些感覺究竟從何時開始累積呢? 由父母、老師開始訓我們的時侯? 被同學欺凌的時侯? 還是在工作上、愛情路上遇到不如意的時候? 慢慢地, 我們可能習慣隱藏這些感覺, 又或我們根本不知他們的存在!
治療師能營造一個安全而接納的環境, 讓參與者能了解自己的感覺, 就如剝洋蔥般, 一層一層溫柔地在藝術創作中剝開。 不同的是, 在藝術創作的過程中, 不一定會刺激我們的淚腺, 而是讓我們在笑聲中成長。
The image of 💩always appears at my therapy sessions, especially when I use clay. You can imagine the sensation of holding a piece of moisturized clay in your palm. The expression of ‘a piece of shit’ in Cantonese is different from Mandarin. Recently, I worked in the mainland China more frequently, my mandarin has been improving!
In one case, a teenager drew a piece of 💩 which surrounded by some flies to represent himself. In a later session, a 💩 appeared as a more humanized figure. For example, it had hands, feet, and listened to music with an earphone, felt lonely and happy. Then, in another session, he drew a human figure to represent himself. In the last session, he became a superman in his self-portrait!
When some participants knew that they could create 💩, and when they realized that I wouldn’t stop them doing it, they became excited. Another participant referred herself as ‘the princess of 💩 of the universe’ …
In such situation, the creator and other participants would laugh together. But after they calmed down, they could share their hard feelings. It seems that the participants were giving emotional support to the creator.
💩 may represent certain disturbed feelings, unacceptance and something we can’t speak. When did such feelings start to accumulate? Was it influenced by our teachers and parents? Or was it caused when we were bullied by our classmates? Or when we came across frustration at work, or at our romance relationship? Slowly, we might get used to hide these feelings ; and we might not even be aware of their existence!
Therapists can create an environment of safety and acceptance. Participants can understand their feelings like peeling an onion gently through arts creation. However, in the process of art creation, it may not stimulate our tear gland. Instead, we may learn and grow with laughter.